


Unspoken

by IronWoman359



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguing, Car Accidents, Hospitals, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Logan doesn't understand emotions, M/M, except he actually does he just doesn't realize it, oh and he cries a lot, someone hug him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-17
Updated: 2018-09-17
Packaged: 2019-07-13 10:19:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16015874
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/IronWoman359/pseuds/IronWoman359
Summary: Virgil and Logan are a happy couple who seem to have a bright future together, but even they can't be perfect, and Virgil storms out of their apartment one night after a fight in an attempt to clear his head. When the impromptu walk in the rain takes a turn for the worst, Logan is forced to examine his actions and confront his mistakes. But is it too late for him to make amends?





	Unspoken

“Just  _LISTEN_ to me, Logan!” 

“Listen to you? How do you expect me to listen to you when  _you_ refuse to listen to reason? You’re not being logical, Virgil!” 

Virgil opened his mouth, then closed it again. His fists were clenched at his sides, trembling slightly as he fought to keep his voice even.

“Logan,” he said slowly, “Please, I don’t want to fight about this...” 

“Fight? You think I made this a fight? I am simply trying to have a calm, adult discussion here, Virgil, you’re the one who is being unnecessarily emotional!” 

“Oh, so emotions aren’t necessary to this conversation?” Virgil asked, glaring openly at his partner. 

“I fail to see how letting them impede your judgement is in any way helpful to your cause,” Logan responded cooly. “If anything, it is making me take your arguments less seriously.” 

Virgil shook his head and laughed bitterly. 

“I suppose I shouldn’t have expected anything else.” 

“Wait, where are you going?” Logan called as Virgil turned towards the door to their shared apartment. 

“Out,” Virgil said without turning around. “Wouldn’t want my pesky  _emotions_  to cloud the air and impede your judgement, would I?” 

“That sounds like an adequate resolution,” Logan replied, folding his arms across his chest. “Perhaps we can talk about this again when you’re not being so ridiculous.” 

Virgil shook his head again before storming out of the room, letting the door slam shut behind him. 

Logan sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. It was pouring down rain outside, but fine. Let Virgil go off on one of his little walks. Maybe when he returned, tired and dripping wet, he’d apologize for being so irrational and the two of them could have a real talk. 

  

 

* * *

 

 

Virgil kept his head down as he walked, his hood pulled up in a measly attempt to keep the rain from falling into his face. However, the fabric granted about as much protection as a thin sheet of tissue paper, and after barely a minute of walking, he was soaked through to the bone. Thunder rumbled in the distance, and Virgil pulled the hoodie tighter around himself, trying to stave off the chill that was threatening to send him sulking back to the apartment. He didn’t care if it was raining. He couldn’t go back there right now. 

He loved Logan so much that it hurt, but goddammit if the man wasn’t ridiculously stubborn. He absolutely refused to back down from what he believed to be right, no matter who or what tried to convince him otherwise. Often Virgil actually found the trait endearing, even admirable in some instances. To have the courage to stand so strongly for what he believed in...it was one of the many things about Logan that had drawn Virgil to him in the first place. But other times...

Virgil was suddenly very glad for the rain, because if any passersby happened to glance at his face, they wouldn’t be surprised to see wetness on his cheeks. Maybe Logan had been right and he was overreacting. But that didn’t make Logan’s flippant dismissal of how he’d been feeling hurt any less. Knowing Logan though, the dumb nerd probably didn’t even realize that he’d been hurtful in the first place. Maybe he  _should_  go back. He’d shower, change into some dry clothes, and then do his best to explain to Logan why this was so important to him. 

Having made up his mind, Virgil turned to cross the street back in the direction of their apartment. He didn’t see the headlights through the rain, didn’t have time to register the honk of a horn or the screeching of tires before pain exploded across his entire body and he was falling, falling, falling into darkness.  

 

* * *

 

 

Logan was slightly concerned. It’d been longer than he’d expected, and Virgil still wasn’t back from his “walk” yet. Logan knew that Virgil could be a sulker, but he would have thought that the less than pleasant weather conditions would have been enough to persuade him into returning to the apartment. 

Logan had just convinced himself that it was probably fine and he was worrying over nothing when his phone rang. 

“Hello, Logan Baker speaking.”

“Mr. Baker? This is Downtown Memorial Hospital calling. Are you related to a Virgil Sanders?” 

Logan froze, his grip tightening on the phone as his heartbeat quickened. 

“I...he’s my partner, why do you ask?” 

“You were listed as his only emergency contact number. I’m afraid there’s been an accident.” 

“An accident?” Logan repeated numbly. No, that couldn’t be right, there must be some mistake... Virgil was so careful, he’d never get in an accident, never...

“Yes, sir. He was walking, and there was a car; the driver didn’t see him in the rain until it was too late. He’s in surgery now.” 

Logan was already halfway out the door, a rain jacket draped haphazardly over his shoulders before he realized that the women on the phone was still talking. 

“I’m sorry, what was that?” he asked. 

“I said is there anyone else you’d like me to call for you?” 

“I...” Logan swallowed as a lump filled his throat. “No...no, there’s no one else. I...I’m all he has.”

He didn’t hear whether or not the woman replied, he simply dropped his phone onto the passenger seat and drove, his knuckles white on the steering wheel. 

After what felt like an eternity but was in reality only about a fifteen minute drive, Logan found himself hurrying through the doors of the hospital and practically begging the front desk for information, though he admittedly didn’t catch most of it. The words “unstable condition,” “surgery,” and “more information” ran through his mind as he sat in the waiting room, staring blankly at the plastic table in front of him. Piles of nonsensical magazines in bright, gaudy colors were strewn across its surface, but he had no motivation to pick any of them up, even for the sake of distracting himself. 

At some point he must have accepted someone’s offer for a cup of coffee, because there was a cheap styrofoam cup nestled between his palms, but he couldn’t think of who had given him the beverage. A nurse? Another prisoner of the waiting room? He didn’t know. He took a sip anyway, the scalding, bitter liquid breaking through the fog hanging over his brain and bringing back the tiniest amount of clarity.

He almost immediately wished that the fog would return, for with the clarity came the horrible realization of what was actually going on. 

Virgil...

Oh God,  _Virgil._ Please no, please don’t let this be real, don’t let this be happening...

A strangled sob escaped Logan’s throat and before he knew it, tears were welling up, threatening to spill over his eyelids and leave ugly trails down his cheeks. The cup of coffee clamored to the floor, forgotten as Logan buried his face in his hands, the last words he and Virgil had spoken to each other playing over and over again in his mind.

_“Wouldn’t want my pesky emotions to cloud the air and impede your judgement, would I?”_

_“Perhaps we can talk about this again when you’re not being so ridiculous.”_

Oh God, how could he have been so stupid? For the life of him Logan couldn't even think now what the fight had been about, but whatever it was, it was meaningless, really.  So insignificant...and yet it had clearly mattered to Virgil. It'd been important to him, and Logan had just...thrown it back in his face. 

Guilt gnawed at his stomach, but before Logan even had time to process the emotion another rose to take its place. Fear gripped his chest like a vice, catching his breath in his throat as a horrifying thought came unbidden to mind. 

What if Virgil didn't make it through surgery? 

No. No no no, he couldn’t think like that, Virgil  _had_ to pull through, he had to be alright. He had to be okay, because Logan had to tell him... 

He hiccupped and ran his hands through his hair, resting them on the back of his neck as he stared down at the off-white linoleum floor. More tears were pooling in his eyes, but he made no move to wipe them away, instead letting them drip off his chin and fall to the ground. 

"Please...” he whispered, not really sure who he was talking to, and not really caring either. 

It couldn’t end for them here, Virgil couldn’t be taken from him so cruelly like this. They’d only moved in together a few months ago, and for the first time in both their lives the future had seemed a little brighter for it. And now Logan had thrown all of that away over some stupid argument. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, squeezing his eyes shut. “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so sorry Virgil, please...please don’t leave me...” 

How long Logan sat there hunched over, small and pitiful in the face of disaster he wasn’t sure. Maybe minutes, maybe hours, he had no idea. His neck was stiff, his cheeks were puffy, and his left leg had fallen asleep. But when he heard a tired voice call “Logan Baker?” he shot out of his seat so fast it added a headache to his ever increasing list of problems. 

“Yes?” he asked, his voice raspy from lack of use. “Is Virgil-” 

“He’s stable, for now,” the doctor replied, and Logan’s knees nearly buckled with relief. The doctor kept talking, but their voice sounded far away, echoing around in Logan’s brain that only had room for one word:  _stable, stable, stable._

Virgil was stable. He’d pulled through. He’d be okay. 

“Can I see him?” he asked, interrupting whatever it was the doctor had been saying. 

“I- Mr. Baker, did you hear what I just said?” 

“You said Virgil was stable,” Logan said earnestly. “That means he’s going to be alright.” 

“Mr. Baker, I said he is stable for  _now_. While the surgery was a success, in addition to his spinal injury he was heavily concussed. There’s no telling when he’ll wake up, if he’ll wake up at all. It wouldn’t surprise me if he slips into a coma.” 

Logan’s spirits dropped as quickly as they’d risen, but he was determined not to let it show. 

“May I  _see_  him?” he pleaded, and the doctor’s eyes softened. 

“Of course. Right this way.” 

The doctor led him down a hallway, then down another and another, and finally they arrived at the correct room. A nurse was standing over the bed and fiddling with an IV bag as they entered, and there lying in the bed...

Logan swore he could physically feel his heart shatter at the sight before him. 

Virgil lay motionless, his face frighteningly pale and eyes closed. If it weren’t for the barely perceptible rise and fall of his chest and the gentle  _beep beep beep_  of the heart rate monitor next to his bed, Logan might mistake him for...no, he couldn’t even think the word, not even in his innermost thoughts. 

Virgil’s right arm was in a cast, and there were a few carefully cleaned cuts on his cheek and forehead. Considering what he’d been through, Logan supposed that he could look a lot worse, but there was still the very concerning fact that he wasn’t  _awake._  

“Stay as long as you’d like,” the doctor said as the nurse finished their business with the IV. “Ring for a nurse if you need anything.” Then they were gone, leaving Logan alone with his unconscious boyfriend and his thoughts. 

Logan sank into a chair beside the bed and gingerly took Virgil’s hand. 

“Virgil?” he whispered, barely daring to hope that his presence would somehow cause the other to stir. Virgil displayed no reaction, not a blip on the heart rate monitor, not a twitch of a hand. Yet again tears came to Logan’s eyes as he gripped Virgil’s hand as tightly as he dared. 

“Please, Virgil, I...I need you to hear me. You have to wake up, okay? You just...you have to, I need to tell you...” he choked on a sob and pressed Virgil’s limp hand to his lips in an impossibly gentle kiss. “I need to tell you everything. Everything I never said, everything I’ve left unspoken for far too long. Please...you have to make it through this, you have to,  _ **please,**_  Virgil, please, I can’t...I can’t do this without you.” 

No response. 

“Please...” he begged. “Don’t leave me...” 

 

* * *

 

 

Slowly, painfully, awareness bled back into Virgil’s mind in a hazy, confusing cloud of sensations. There was a steady beeping to his right, a dull ache in the back of his skull, and a warm weight to his left, fingers intertwined with his. His whole body was sore, it felt like he’d gotten hit by a car...wait, had he? His memory was hazy, but he was pretty sure there’d been a car...

He cracked one eye open and saw a familiar form slumped over on the side of his bed, glasses slightly askew as his body gently rose and fell with his breathing. 

“Lo?” Virgil croaked, constricting his fingers slightly around the hand tangled together with his.

“Hmmm?” Logan hummed, his voice heavy and thick with sleep. He creaked one eyelid open, then sat bolt upright. “Virgil?” he gasped, his grip on Virgil’s hand tightening. 

“What-” Virgil began, but that was as far as he got before Logan surged forward to hug him, his face buried in Virgil’s shoulder and his body shaking with relief.

“ _Virgil,_  oh my God, oh my  _God_ , you’re alright, I thought...I-I thought...” Logan sobbed, and Virgil found himself running his good hand up and down Logan’s back as soothingly as he could manage. 

“Hey...hey, I’m okay, Lo,” he murmured into Logan’s ear. “I’m here now, it’s okay.” 

“No it’s  _not_ ,” Logan said with a surprising amount of force, pulling back to look Virgil in the eyes. His eyes were red and puffy, his tie was half undone, and his hair was sticking up at odd angles, but he fixed Virgil with a stare so serious that he could have been about to address the whole nation with news that would change the world. 

“Virgil, I-” he took a shaky breath. “While I am a person who generally has a very analytical mind, that of course doesn’t mean that I am devoid of emotions altogether, I merely often find myself incapable of expressing them in meaningful ways to others, I simply don’t have the emotional syntax necessary to fully encapsulate my feelings which more often than not means I do not express them at all, but that is so unfair to you, you deserve so much more than that, you deserve to know how much I love you; I love you so much that I do not have adequate vocabulary to express it, I love you more than should be humanly possible and yet I love you more than that, you are my absolute everything, my entire universe, and I’m so so  _sorry_  Virgil, please forgive me, I promise, I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you, just-” 

“Whoa, whoa, whoa,” Virgil interrupted, his hand finding Logan’s again. “Just, take it easy for a second. Breathe, Logan, come on now, that’s it.” 

He ran his thumb over the back of Logan’s hand while Logan took a few more shaky breaths. 

“There you go,” he murmured, smiling softly. “Now. What was all that about? I already know you love me, Lo, you know that right?” 

“No, I...” Logan sighed. “Of course you know I love you, we are engaged in a romantic partnership, it is the nature of such a relationship for the participants to love each other, I just...I know I don’t say it properly. I never really know what to do with emotions, and now because of that you’ve been hurt, and I...” he hung his head, refusing to meet Virgil’s gaze. “I just need you to know how sorry I am,” he whispered, fresh tears stinging his eyes. “And I need you to know just how  _much_  you mean to me, Virgil, you-” 

Virgil pressed a finger to Logan’s lips, effectively silencing him. 

“Don’t do that,” he intoned, tapping his finger once for emphasis. “Don’t blame yourself for this, Lo, it wasn’t your fault.” 

“You left because of me,” Logan whispered, his voice barely audible. “If I had just listened to you, you wouldn’t have even been out in the street, and this never would have happened.” 

“It’s not your fault, Logan,” Virgil insisted. “I’m not blaming you, so you’re not allowed to blame yourself. Got it?”

“I...” Logan hesitated, and Virgil raised an eyebrow at him. “Very well,” he agreed, though Virgil could see guilt still hovering in the other man’s eyes. They’d have to work on that more later. 

“Also,” Virgil added before Logan had the chance to speak again. “It doesn’t matter if you  _say_  it, Logan. I know how much you love me.” 

“Virgil, I-” 

“You say it everyday, for one thing,” Virgil said with a smile, and Logan sighed. 

“I say the words ‘I love you’ at least once a day, true, but they in no way properly communicate the full extent of-” 

“You say it with the cup of coffee that’s ready for me every morning when I wake up,” Virgil continued, as if he hadn’t heard Logan. “You say it when you bring me a sandwich while I’m at work to make sure that I eat lunch that day.” 

Logan’s eyes widened, and Virgil smiled. 

“You say it when you listen to me rant about my shitty day, you say it when you  _distract_  me from my shitty day with whatever fascinating thing you learned about recently.” 

Virgil took Logan’s hand again, gripping it as tightly as his strength would allow. 

“You say it when you hold my hand when we’re in big crowds, so I know that you’re there and that I won’t lose you. You say it when you keep me grounded during panic attacks and let me cry as long as I need to afterwards. You say it in every little thing you do for me, Logan, in every moment that we spend together. Most of the time when you say ‘I love you’ it’s unspoken, but that doesn’t mean I don’t hear you.” 

Virgil squeezed Logan’s hand, smiling fondly at his tearful expression. Virgil could feel a few drops of water building up in his own eyes, but he didn’t care  in the slightest. 

“I hear, you, Logan,” he whispered, squeezing his hand. “And I love you too.” 

Logan pulled him into a hug, and he hugged back as best he could, breathing in Logan’s familiar scent.

“I was so scared...” Logan murmured as he released Virgil, letting him fall back into bed. “I thought...I thought I was going to lose you...”

“It’s okay,” Virgil reassured him. “You’re not getting rid of me that easy.” 

“It’s not just that!” Logan insisted. “I thought I...the last thing that we did together was fight...” he sighed and wiped at his eyes. “I couldn’t bear the thought of you never again hearing me tell you how much I really love you.”  

“I hear you, Lo,” Virgil promised, and it was his turn to pull Logan close into a warm embrace. 

Logan finally relaxed into his hold, and Virgil closed his eyes. The road to recovery ahead of him would be long, in more ways than one, and it wouldn’t be the easiest thing he'd ever had to do. But he knew that the two of them could work through it and face it how they faced everything: together. 

“I hear you.” 

**Author's Note:**

> Some analogical angst because I love my boys...and when I love characters I like to torture them, apparently. But always with hugs in the end, cause half the fun of angst is watching them pick up the pieces afterwards, right? Thank you so much as always for reading, you guys are the absolute best! Look for more oneshots in the future, as well as updates to my chaptered works!  
> -Taylor <3


End file.
